We are now in that time of the year where you wake up at 6am
in the morning, you pull up your bedroom curtain and the rays
of the sun hit your face; you know that time of the year where
mornings come quicker and the night too; it is 6pm and the moon
is already informing you to retire from the days work.
This morning I heard something interesting on the radio, they
were talking about how long one should one be in a dating
relationship before getting to the real thing; like
getting serious and all that. One thing that got me though,
was a woman who said she would need at-least 5 years or more
to be able to learn about all the shit about this guy;
Now that is shit! wtf!! 5 years? I mean are you going through
high or elementary school!!
As it turns out, there isn’t a lot of recent research on the
courtship length prior to marriage. But study shows that
happily married couples dated for approximately 25 months
before getting married; that is 2 years plus we have to
remember that what marriage means on a societal level
is also changing.
I believe that individuals have their own certain and various
procedures or rituals better yet timetables they follow
according to the circumstances, you know, like how some
women have a ritual that they will only give the guy sexual
pleasure after the 5th date!
Most of the times relationships take long to get into the
commitment level because of the told-stories from the
heartbroken souls airing out their despair and bitterness.
But hey It’s important to remember, however, that nobody
escapes matters of the heart completely unscathed.
“Men look for sex and find love.” This doesn’t mean he’s a player
or a liar or a loser. This doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to be a
good husband and father one day. All it means is that when he shows
up on the first date with you and sees how attractive you are,
he’s not thinking about the long-term future,
he’s thinking about the short-term future: “How am I going to charm her?
How am I going to make her like me? How am I going to give her an
extra drink so I can get her back to my place?”
This is true because men become focused on the here and now,
trying to make the most of the present moment.
But women on the other hand aren’t even focused on the date itself,
they are usually trying to see through you and predict the future
“What’s wrong with this guy? Where is this headed?
Is he financially stable? Does he believe in marriage?
Is he a player? Does he respect women? Does he want children?
He better not hurt me. I don’t want to waste my time.”
This sever explains almost all of the friction in dating
and once you understand it, you can make a permanent adjustment.
A little thought intended for the ladies out there;
The guy who’s been casually seeing you for over two months,
where he occasionally texts you, occasionally sees you is simply
not putting in the requisite effort to win you over. In the long run,
he’s a waste of time because he’s already showing you the kind of
relationship he wants: low-stakes, low rewards, no commitment.
Guys who don’t escalate their efforts after about two months
are probably a waste of your time and if you still need more time
than that to get exclusive, like the lady who talked about
5 years!! then its high time you get your shit together.
Gracias mis lectores.